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Showing posts from April, 2016

When Doves Cry

I tried to put into words, the significance of just how much he had meant to me. I attempted to convey, in the best way that I could, exactly how devastating this news had been for me. I’d caught myself several times over the weekend, staring into space while humming an old familiar tune. For me, he was much more than a legendary icon to the masses. For me, he was my best friend. A friend who although I’d never met, had a way of always being there when I needed him. A friendship that unlike most, survived my awkward teens, my rebellious twenties, my headstrong thirties, and my now awakened forties. A constant companion, who provided me with an endless array of liner notes, to cajole my listless emotions past their boundaries. I cried. Not the tears that fall after watching a well-acted Hallmark channel movie. No, these were ugly tears. Tears mixed with mucus and heavy heaving. Tears that stung my eyes as they fell, leaving the collar of my blouse soaked. Tears that cause strangers to …

Runnng Away From...Us

It was time to go. It was time to pretend that there were no kids, no jobs, no dogs, and no responsibilities. It was time to run away to reinvent ourselves, if only for one day. It was time to reconnect with those teenaged kids who were so secretive and dangerously in love. It was time to turn on the ‘out of the office’ messaging, direct all calls to voicemail, and leave the laptop at home. It was our time. Mine and his. We could usually feel the sickness developing long before the onset of the disease. The fatigue, the grab and go meals, the additions and revisions to the to-do list, the finger pointing over who’s turn it was to clean the litter box, the heated discussion about who’s side of the family our teenage daughter takes after, when she does something moronic. It was time to remember who we were before all of this…stuff. So often, we lose sight of what our relationships were before this…stuff. Your children will grow up and move out, your pets will age and cross over the rain…

The Green Eyed Monster

I felt bad for cutting her off mid-sentence like that. But if I hadn't, she'd have just kept going on and on about how unfair this was, and how unfair that was. I can accept such a level of thinking from a child, but when you're an adult who cries why me every other second, my automatic 'in one ear and out the other' security feature kicks in. The conversation had started easily enough. A co-worker had purchased a boat, and posted pictures of himself and his family enjoying his new toy over the weekend. His single joyous occasion sparked a rampage of insults, and inquiry from her. It made for an uncomfortable scene. She paused and looked at me puzzled and exclaimed, "Why...doesn't it bother you?" She then went on about how she pondered just how he was able to afford such a luxury. Was he stealing from the company? Were his parents rich? Did he recently win a lawsuit? She rattled off several scenarios, each more increasingly outrageous. As I poured my …