Skip to main content

Peace Be Still

Reckoning this to my merely being upset, would be an understatement. I was LIVID. To think that someone who I cared so much for, could hurt me in this way had shaken me to my core. I'd spent days harboring resentment mixed with a bitterness so deep, that my stomach ached. I replayed in my head each word, each glance, each disparaging turn. As quickly as it'd become so incredibly loud, there was now a deafening silence. While spitting out the last profanity, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I can't say that I liked what I saw. My eyes were bulging out of my head, a vein in my neck was pulsating, my hands were trembling, and my heart was pounding. Meanwhile, the person who'd upset me had aptly moved on without a care. Totally indifferent to the pain, and grief they'd caused me. Well dang! If that don't be all. My husband, the diplomatic peacemaker, called out to me. Urging me to come back and talk to him, as I backed out the driveway. His rational tone would be wasted on me in this moment. I was already well past the point of reasoning. He just couldn't understand. He didn't hear what this person had said to me. He wasn't there when this person lied to me. His comforting words couldn't soothe through my inability to feel anything but my own rage.

I drove around for what seemed like hours, only to find myself a mere four miles from my front door. As I removed my sandals, and sank my feet deeper into the sand, I inhaled deeply. The cool autumn waves crashed against my ankles, sending a jolt of vigor throughout my body. In the respite of it all, I let out a low, deep hum. The intensity of my breaths startled me, as I looked around to see if anyone noticed the crazy lady sobbing at the lake. I was alone. I plopped down in a huff, sitting on a mound of soft, fine sand. I took notice of the gathering cranes who'd began to fellowship close by. I peered at the minnow who hurriedly swam around my feet. I looked to the heavens to marvel in the beautiful midday Florida sky. I sat there in the stillness of it all, a spectator in awe. I was overcome with emotion as I realized that no one, not ever, no how....should ever get me to that level of anger. No one with their words, or actions should have the ability to alter the joy that is within me. Too often, we get caught up in what people have done to hurt us, that we fail to see that mentally repeating the act hurts us even more. To you, the one who hurt me, I forgive you. No, I will not give you another chance to hurt me, but in order for me to move on in peace, I forgive you.

My phone has twelve missed calls, and five text messages. I guess I have been out here for a while. I pick up the phone to let him know that I'm alright. "Yes honey, I'm on my way home. Yes, I feel better. I'm sorry that I worried you. I just needed to be alone, to be at Peace, and to Be Still."

Bright Blessings > Wise Spirit


Popular posts from this blog

Let's Go Crazy

We're all excited.
But we don't know why.
Maybe it's 'cause, we're all gonna die. And when we do.
What's it all for?
You better LIVE now, Before the Grim Reaper come knocking on your door... ~ Prince/Let's Go Crazy
At some point, I stopped enjoying myself. My days had become routine and oh so ordinary. Granted, I had no desire to climb Mt. Everest, go skydiving, or anything mind-blowing like that. I did want to return to a place where there was awe and wonder in my life. I wanted to find idle time to sit on a park bench and daydream. I wanted to lay on the beach, enjoy a good book, while delighting in the sound of crashing waves. I wanted to write more and worry less. I needed to find the courage to truly step off that {self imposed} ledge and fly. "It's time to let loose baby girl. Life is short," I tell's time to Go Crazy!

Never Let Em' Steal Your Happiness

Last week, I went to Dunkin Donuts to purchase some sweet treats for my staff. As I approached the drive-through window to pay for my order, the cashier explained that the car in front of me had already paid for me. Confused, I said to the cashier, "but I don't even know her." He went on to explain that this woman comes in at least twice a week and does this. As I left the window,  a rush of warmth filled me. You would have thought that I'd just won the lottery or something. With that one simple gesture, this complete stranger had made me feel...Good! I thought 'how wonderful,' I just had to extend this feeling to someone else. I wanted the everyone to feel as good as I felt in that moment. Once in my office, I shared my story with anyone who would listen. Then it happened. One of my co-workers, who I swear could find fault in Heaven, interrupts me. "Why would she do that?" he began,  "the gesture would have been better used towards someone who…

Change is Good

On my fourteenth birthday, my grandmother gave me a bottle of a wildly popular, fairly expensive perfume. My mother hinted to her, that perhaps the fragrance was a bit too ‘grown-up’ for me. Needless to say, my teenage ego soared, and I’ve worn this scent ever since.
The other day I noticed that after spritzing my arms and neck generously with my beloved spray, that I’d broken out into hives. Large, painful welts erupted all over my arms, neck, and parts of my face. It was horrible, and yet I refused to believe that my discomfort was the result of my traditional Eau de Toilette. As a precaution, I discontinued its use and vowed to recommit to it after a few weeks. Not even a few days had gone by before I was drenching my skin in its delicate aroma again. Moments later, I was clawing at my skin, whimpering in pain. That was that my love affair with Acme Fragrance B was over.
This upsetting event was yet another addition to the favorites I’d lost over the years. At the age of twenty-five,…