Friday, April 14, 2017

Change is Good

On my fourteenth birthday, my grandmother gave me a bottle of a wildly popular, fairly expensive perfume. My mother hinted to her, that perhaps the fragrance was a bit too ‘grown-up’ for me. Needless to say, my teenage ego soared, and I’ve worn this scent ever since.

The other day I noticed that after spritzing my arms and neck generously with my beloved spray, that I’d broken out into hives. Large, painful welts erupted all over my arms, neck and parts of my face. It was horrible, and yet I refused to believe that my discomfort was the result of my traditional Eau de Toilette. As a precaution, I discontinued its use and vowed to recommit to it after a few weeks. Not even a few days had went by before I was drenching my skin in its delicate aroma again. Moments later, I was clawing at my skin, whimpering in pain. That was that, my love affair with Acme Fragrance B was over.

This upsetting event was yet another addition to the favorites I’d lost over the years. At the age of twenty-five, I said goodbye to dairy products after a triple scoop of ice cream left me grabbing my stomach in agony, at what felt like tiny shards of glass moving through my intestines. At the age of thirty, I had to say Adios to soda after noticing that my eyelids would jump so intensely after a few sips, that I could barely see. I took a swig of Sprite still happens. At age forty, I bid farewell to gummy bears. And honestly, it’d been easier to give up some friendships than to give up gummy bears. Anytime I eat them now (I cheat), I get one of the worse migraines ever.

And now at forty-five, I would have to alter the segment of my morning ritual pertaining to my olfactory indulgence. BUMMER! Finding a lesson in everything, I saw this as an opportunity to try a new perfume. Change is inevitable, and not always a bad thing. Just because you’ve been doing something for the past twenty years, doesn’t mean that you must continue to do it for the next twenty years. Especially if it’s no longer working for you.

Some of you right now are at jobs that you absolutely hate, but because you’ve been there for ten years...

Some of you are in stagnant relationships that are bad for your health, but because you fear being alone…

Some of you have never stepped foot outside of the city that you grew up in, but because your mamma and daddy never left the city either…

My point…pay attention to what your mind, body and soul is telling you. Don’t ignore those cues indicating that change is not only necessary, but vital. Life was not meant to be lived in discomfort.

Monday, February 27, 2017

Finding Your Tribe

I’d attended seminars, listened to webinars, and eagerly watched various podcasts. In my search for something ‘more’, I had spent a great deal of time, and money being educated by some of the leading Spiritual Gurus. I’d absorbed it all, and followed their every post, blog, and chat. Countless times, I’d felt as though I’d finally found my peeps. Those rainbow, and fairy dust folks who like me, just wanted to spread love, have fun, and encourage others.

Imagine my surprise a couple of months ago, when I got an email from one of these Gurus prompting me to be personally ‘instructed’ by them. Now, I had no delusions that this wonderful opportunity would be gratis. I understood well, that although this was her calling, it was also her business. Hadn’t I charged for my services? Wasn’t I in fact, in the process of restructuring my hobby to create a thriving business empire?  

About ten minutes into a prodding phone conversation engineered to get me riled up and onboard, she casually drops the following, “and because I believe in you, and believe that you’d truly be an awesome candidate for this unique course, I’m going to discount the regular $10,000 investment, and offer you these empowering filled lessons for only $7,000.” I was sipping on a cup of tea at the time. What I remember next, is my eyes watering as I began choking, and then blowing green tea snot bubbles from my nostrils. So as not to offend my Shero, I casually informed her that I’d have to take some time to consider her offer. Two days later, I received the following email, “some of my clients don’t know how they’ll find the funds for this life changing experience. However, those who are passionate about living their dream, and are serious about taking charge of their finances, have done the following in order to afford these courses: taken out a second mortgage, sold rare coins, borrowed from family/friends, received a personal loan from their bank.” I read the email five times before quickly blocking her on Facebook, unsubscribing from her mailing list, and exiting her online group.

After a few more hits and misses, I’d concluded that most of these Gurus could give a rat’s a$$ about nourishing your soul. Even the most casual of acquaintances seemed to be frightfully out for self. It’s really disturbing. In life, for your own sanity and well-being, you must find your Tribe. When I’d first heard that term several months ago, I didn’t fully grasp it. But I’ve come to understand that your Tribe, is a group of like-minded people who gravitate towards, and support you as you grow Spiritually and intellectually. Not to be confused with your family, friends or co-workers, your Tribe is that eclectic mix of nomads who stir your Soul and provoke your passions. Your Tribe embraces your eccentric thirst for peace, while releasing you on your solo quest for self.

I spent some time today, cleaning up my Facebook and Twitter feeds. Too much time has been wasted on one sided relationships, and clickbait switcheroos. With all of the properly positioned ‘fakeness’ running rampant in the world, nothing feels better than having a group of peeps who are unabashedly real. 

I encourage you to find, or create your Tribe today. Being weird is an Art, being weird with others is a masterpiece. 

>> Wise Spirit

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Leap & the Net will Appear

February 8th 2017. That was the day that I officially took a break, took a step back, got some much-needed rest, went on hiatus….became unemployed. I’d spent most of my adult life working in an industry that was foreign to the word; down time. Being open 24-hours, 365 days a year, meant that like the career I’d chosen, I was available ALL THE TIME. It’d become commonplace to receive a call at 11pm (just after I’d had my third glass of Sangria), from a colleague stating that he couldn’t show up for work, and of course needed me to cover his shift. It was upsetting to get that text at 5am suggesting that I come in to scramble some eggs, because the breakfast cook had yet to arrive for her shift. It was hellish to be on vacation and receive a flood of emails, texts and voice mails indicating that my division was represented negatively on TripAdvisor, and I had one day to respond…from the boat….in the middle of the ocean…on my anniversary…on my vacation.

I complained a lot, imbibed a bit, complained some more, drank some more, and chalked it all up to, “that’s why I get the big bucks!” I consumed stress for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and gobbled it all up with a hint of thyme. After the company closed my division, I accepted a job offer with another like business. During my first day of training, a colleague joked about the busyness of the company. His exact words to me were, “prepare to never sleep again.” I’d learn later that he’d just returned from a two-month absence due to a heart attack. In the days that followed, I’d worked 10-12 hour days, pacified livid customers, placate irate staff threatening to quit, reconcile payroll from three weeks ago, and assist the police with a drug sting…no, really.

On the fifth day of my ‘training’, I excused myself to the restroom. I grabbed my purse on the way to the door, and walked directly to my car, where I sat for several minutes with my head buried in my hands. I sobbed uncontrollably, and experienced a panic attack so troubling that I considered driving to the ER. I called my husband, and in a rapid, incoherent rant told him that I just couldn’t do it anymore. I apologized repeatedly, and highlighted the many reasons that I was having a mental breakdown in my SUV. Expecting him to be sensible and urge me to put my big girl panties on, and get back in there and push through it, he simply said, “Baby, just quit and come home.” WHAT?!?! Did he just tell me to quit? Doesn’t he realize that I have a car payment? Doesn’t he realize that we’ve got a trip out of town coming up? Doesn’t he realize that we have one more dependent child left at home? Doesn’t he realize that I have a handbag addiction? Doesn’t he realize that the house payment is coming due, again? WHAT?!?!

February 20, 2017. I woke up at 9am (instead of 5am), because I could. I watched as my gorgeous husband made me a killer omelet, followed by me enjoying an hour-long relaxing bubble bath. I took my doxies to the lake and was able to leisurely walk along the shore with them. I sat on the bed with my two youngest daughters, reminiscing, laughing, and sharing family memories. I followed up with clients from as far away as China, and thus generated additional income. I wrote some more chapters to my book, and submitted another blog. And then it happened. I casually looked over at him as he worked on an art piece for an upcoming show, and it clicked…. this is what I want, this is actually, ALL that I want.

Now, don’t go searching for the GoFundMe link at the bottom of this page, because you won’t find one. And no, I’m not selling my Coach bags on EBay…yet. But I can tell you what I am doing. I am seriously investing in myself, and focusing on my personal businesses. I fully intend to take my ‘hobbies’ to the next level. I am cutting expenses in my life that are eating away at funds best used elsewhere (buh, bye Sirius XM, it’s been fun cable TV). I am setting the stage for what I will, and won’t settle for in my life. The older I get, the less tolerance I have for drama and BS.  And most importantly, I’m spending quality time with the ones I love. The past few nights have been the most restful, and enjoyable evenings I’ve had in several years. I went to bed knowing that no one would be calling, emailing, or texting me with an issue. It was fantastic!

Will I ever go back to working for someone else? I don’t know. Will I ever sacrifice my health and well-being for a plaque on some wall attempting to showcase my worth? Definitely not! I’m sitting in my PJ’s writing this Blog, invoicing clients, listening to Prince, sipping my oolong tea, petting my pooch, and watching him paint. I’m unsure of how long this ideal happenstance will last, but I am sure that I will work towards it extending a lifetime.

I feel good. I feel really GOOD. And now that I’ve leapt, I’m fully confident that the Universe will cause the net to appear….
Be Good to Others & Be Good to Yourself > Wise Spirit